


Losing My Religion

by gh0stcat



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angry Din Djarin, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Child Neglect, Din Djarin Needs a Hug, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Force Sensitivity (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Original Character(s), Found Family, Good Parent Din Djarin, Hurt Din Djarin, Idiots in Love, Kidnapping, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Pining, Protective Din Djarin, Romance, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, The Dark Side of the Force (Star Wars), The Force, Touch-Starved Din Djarin, Unresolved Trauma, accidental crime?, triggers in notes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:07:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29683722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gh0stcat/pseuds/gh0stcat
Summary: "Who are you?" The Mandalorian asked her. His voice crackled through the modulator of his helmet, and the visor stared down at her curiously."You... You're the one that handed him over," She told him, trying to calm the kid who was desperately reaching for the man who handed him over, presumably as a bounty. A man who had kidnapped a child and then left him in that lab, scared and alone."You're an imp. How do you know that? I didn't see you," He said, and his fingers wrapped around the grip of his blaster, "give me the kid."No-" The Mandalorian interrupted her by pressing the barrel of his weapon to her forehead.As Cassiopeia froze in fear, the force abandoning her when she needed it the most, Grogu gurgled angrily.The Mandalorian looked down at the child, "What is it, kid?"
Relationships: Din Djarin/Original Female Character(s), Din Djarin/Reader, Din Djarin/You
Comments: 3
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading. Trigger warning for vomit, though there's not much description! Also mention of needles/torture, bt neither of these go into much detail either. I hope you enjoy.

The tiny green alien stared up at his protector, and big eyes glistened sadly as he was handed over to the scientists. The Mandalorian that brought him in was tall, imposing; but Cassiopeia could feel the guilt rolling off his armour in waves. His touch lingered. He didn't want to give him away, she could tell.  
Her heart swelled with grief as she felt the baby's fears pierce through her skull. Cassiopeia watched, unable to speak, and wished she could reach out and scoop him up in her arms. He turned to look at her then, and brown irises pierced her soul. He was so frightened. Cassiopeia wanted to stroke the little grey hairs on his wrinkled head and tell him that he'd be just fine, but she couldn't move or speak, all she could do was watch as the Mandalorian turned his back on him.  
Cassiopeia's heart shattered as Grogu reached out to his silver hero only to be ignored. 

***

Cassiopeia woke up in a fit of tears. Her heartfelt so heavy; it was steeped in the betrayal and the love the baby felt for his captor. Curiously though, Cassiopeia still felt like she was dreaming. Her emotions were still just as strong as they were in her dream. She felt like she was connected to the alien somehow. They understood each other, even through a dream. 

She sighed and sat up slowly, swinging her legs over the side of her bed and shivering when her bare feet touched the cold flooring. Sliding her silk dressing gown over her bare arms and stepping into her slippers, Cassiopeia looked around her bedroom.

It was clinical; which was far different from her room at home, but she acknowledged that it was nice enough for the miserable planet they were staying on at the moment. The walls were white and metallic-looking, which matched the flooring. The room was relatively bare; All of her paintings were still hanging at home, and the only furniture was a small bedside table, a built-in wardrobe, and a desk, which had her half-finished sketches scattered all over it.

She decided she'd fetch some water to help her sleep. Cassiopeia couldn't shake her nightmare from her head. It was the third time this week that she'd had it, and it showed no sign of stopping.

Cassiopeia picked up the torch from her table and switched it on, making her way slowly to the door. She unlocked it and slipped out. Hazel eyes stared into the dark hallway, wondering why she even bothered with her dressing gown. It did absolutely nothing to keep her warm.  
She crossed the hall quickly, noting that no guards were stationed on the way to her room. Thanks, father, she thought to herself bitterly. The refresher was dark and empty, as it was every night. Cassiopeia took a glass from the cupboard.

A sudden sharp pain shot through Cassiopeia's skull and her glass slipped through her fingers and shattered on the floor. She cursed and rubbed her temples, stepping away from the glass and groaning in pain. 

That was when she felt it. Pure, unadulterated terror. But it wasn't her own. It felt... young. There was a sharp pricking sensation in her arm which almost made her jump out of her skin. 

She decided on checking in with the doctor. He'd likely still be awake and could maybe give her something for her head, and hopefully something to help her sleep, too.  
Cassiopeia followed the hall to the laboratory, stopping at the door when she heard a noise.

It sounded like a baby; a crying sound.

Completely disregarding all etiquette, Cassiopeia shot through the laboratory door and froze at what she saw.  
There, in the centre of the room, strapped down into some scary-looking machine was the alien child that was plaguing her nightmares for the last few days. Cassiopeia felt a surge of relief, which again was not her own, surge through her. Doctor Pershing stood over the child, wide-eyed, and brandishing a huge needle that was filled with blood. 

"What in the world is going on here?" Cassiopeia asked the Doctor incredulously.

"Uh, Cassiopeia," The doctor started with a nervous chuckle, "Nothing for you to concern yourself with. Was there something you needed?"  
Cassiopeia stared at him for a moment in disbelief as he tried in vain to discretely reach for the distress button on his belt. 

She made a decision then, as she tapped into all her fears and her anger and harnessed it in her head. Cassiopeia reached remorsefully into the man's mind, "Doctor Pershing, you will leave this room and go to bed and forget that you ever saw me." 

The man straightened his back unnaturally and let the syringe clatter to the floor. Doctor Pershing marched straight past Cassiopeia, and she sighed, watching as the door closed with a beep behind him. She hated that every time she had to do that.

Cassiopeia rushed over to the child, who looked worn out and ill. She frowned as she worked quickly to release him from his bindings. He cooed sadly when Cassiopeia scooped him up, and Cassiopeia looked down at him guiltily. She should've known that her nightmare hadn't been just that. How stupid of her. What had Doctor Pershing been doing to him? Cassiopeia felt the fear and pain that he'd been in. Why the hell was he contracting a Mandalorian to bring him a tiny baby? And one like her, too, if the connection she felt and the dreams were anything to go on. Cassiopeia could feel all of his - Grogu, he told her - fear and sadness radiating from him.  
He was a baby. He shouldn't have been put through those things.

Something was wrong. And she couldn't just brush it off like she always did. Something was telling her to run with the child and never look back.  
So she did. She took one more look at Grogu's tired face and took off running towards the exit. She was careful when she saw the stormtroopers milling around, and she hid the baby under her dressing gown as discreetly as she could, telling him to be as quiet as he could with her mind.

"You're up late, my lady." One of the guards told her as she approached.

"Yes, I just had to get something to drink. Goodnight." 

"I see. Sleep well."

Cassiopeia smiled cautiously and carried on past them. She was quick, but not so quick as to draw any suspicion. Her heart pounded with adrenaline, and she hushed the child as he gurgled sleepily from his hiding spot. And then it was the final door. This was it. It was now or never.

Cassiopeia looked at the city as the door slid open and quickly stepped out, shutting it behind her. She bypassed the security system easily and took off running. She had no idea where she intended ongoing, but she needed to get out of there. 

Her slippers did absolutely nothing to protect her feet from the harsh ground, but she pushed on. There was no turning back now. She hoped that her father would forgive her for what she'd done and that he'd understand. This was a baby. He deserved to be playing and making friends, not being experimented on. 

"You're going to be just fine, kid," Cassiopeia promised him as she ran, feeling guilty at how disoriented he must feel at the moment. Grogu babbled contently, and Cassiopeia smiled with relief. Kids always seemed to be able to bounce back. She wished she possessed that trait. 

She looked up and saw the moonlight reflecting on something in the dark. Cassiopeia squinted at it, but she couldn't tell what it was from where she was standing. She looked down at Grogu and made sure he was hidden before creeping over to stand against the wall and attempt to slip past whatever it was.

Cassiopeia moved quietly, drawing nearer and nearer to the shape, and tilted her head in confusion when it started moving towards her. She panicked and cursed to herself when Grogu suddenly seemed to come alive with energy. He scrambled to climb out of her dressing gown, chattering noisily to himself.

"Kid?" She heard a deep voice ask, and Cassiopeia squeaked when Grogu wormed his way out of her grasp and almost fell to the floor. She moved quickly to catch him, but her heart stopped as the silver revealed itself.

It was a Mandalorian. And he sounded just like the one from her nightmare. The one who had given him to Doctor Pershing. He was suited up in pristine beskar and was staring at her. His fingers twitched beside his gun, and Cassiopeia turned away from him to shield the child with her body. 

"Who are you?" The Mandalorian asked her. His voice crackled through the modulator of his helmet, and the visor stared down at her curiously. 

"You... You're the one that handed him over," She told him, trying to calm the kid who was desperately reaching for the man who handed him over, presumably as a bounty. A man who had kidnapped a child and then left him in that lab, scared and alone.

"You're an imp. How do you know that? I didn't see you," He said, and his fingers wrapped around the grip of his blaster, "give me the kid."

"No-" The Mandalorian interrupted her by pressing the barrel of his weapon to her forehead. As Cassiopeia froze in fear, the force abandoning her when she needed it the most, Grogu gurgled angrily. 

The Mandalorian looked down at the child, "What is it, kid?"

"They... They had him strapped down to that metal table in there. God knows what they were doing. He looked so ill," Cassiopeia managed, gulping at the feeling of cold metal against her skin.

"They? You say that like you aren't one of them," The Mandalorian said. He sighed, holstering his gun as the kid continued on his incoherent rant, "Fine. Give him to me-"  
They were distracted by the sounds of shouting coming from behind them. She had no time to respond to his words. They both looked up to see a group of five armed stormtroopers come out of the building that Cassiopeia had fled. 

"Run," The Mandalorian told her, and it didn't take much for her to obey.

The two ran as fast as their legs could carry them, and Cassiopeia hoped that the Mandalorian had an idea for them to escape because there was no way in the universe that she would hand the baby back over to the lab to be experimented on.

Cassiopeia couldn't see anything but the glimmer of beskar in the darkness. She heard the stormtroopers' footsteps grow nearer and panicked, tightening her grip around Grogu as tightly as she could without hurting him. Big brown eyes stared up at her inquisitively and she couldn't help but smile at him.

In the distance, Cassiopeia saw an old ship; it was an odd shape, with two big, barrel-like engines that stuck out of it. The door suddenly slid open, and Cassiopeia watched as the Mandalorian started to run faster, heavy footsteps thudding.

He climbed up the ramp and turned around brusquely, shouting for Cassiopeia to get on. With a nod, Cassiopeia boarded the ship and jumped as the door closed almost instantly behind her. 

Cassiopeia looked around the ship as the Mandalorian disappeared up a ladder. She appeared to be in the cargo hold. There were boxes and tools littered around the room, and Cassiopeia sighed. That was not safe. Grogu would have his little fingers all over that wrench in seconds. She saw a tiny bunk area in the corner, as well as what looked like a carbon freezer and a weapons locker. Cassiopeia shivered then, hoping that the Mandalorian wouldn't be using either of those things on her. 

The ship started to lift shakily from the ground, and Cassiopeia gasped as she heard blaster fire coming from outside. She rushed towards the ladder and climbed up it, careful to balance Grogu in her hands. 

When she emerged in the control room, the Mandalorian was sitting tensely in the pilot seat. Gloved fingers darted over buttons and levers skillfully. Cassiopeia made her way over to the seat and dared herself to sit next to him, settling the child in her lap. Grogu smiled up at her and reached for the long braid of dark hair that hung in front of him.

"Good to see you again, kid," He muttered distractedly, visor focused intently in front of him.

"Change of heart?" Cassiopeia asked him, smiling down gently at the child. What she'd seen of him in her dream seemed accurate. He was a little soft for a Mandalorian.

"I'll drop you off on the nearest planet." He told her, modulator failing to hide the venom in his tone.

"Hello to you, too." 

The ship went deadly quiet for a moment before a loud beeping sound and a bang echoed through the room.

"Kriff! Strap the kid in. Now!" The Mandalorian's voice was loud, and Cassiopeia obeyed immediately.

The kid stared at her as she looked down at him from the back of the seat, giggling as if he didn't have a care in the world; Just like he deserved. 

The ship juddered, almost knocking Cassiopeia onto the floor. The ship was shaking so violently now that Cassiopeia's stomach was starting to churn. It seemed to disagree with the current turbulence and promptly emptied the contents of Cassiopeia's stomach onto the floor, and the Mandalorian's boots. 

He sighed, "We're going to crash."

Cassiopeia's heart sank. Was Grogu going to die now? She should never have gotten onto the Mandalorian's ship. She should've waited out somewhere overnight and caught a safer ride in the morning. Now, they were all going to die horribly.

It seemed like their impending doom was not going to settle in for Grogu anytime soon. As the ship shook wildly and took a sudden jolt downwards towards a rather intimidating-looking planet, his hands shot up. At least someone was enjoying themselves. 

***


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So sorry that this chapter is a bit short and slow, but it was sort of awkward to split up. I hope you enjoy :)

The ship had crashed on a planet similar to Nevarro. It was a dusty wasteland, with desert ground as far as Cassiopeia could see. There were a few strange looking plants dotted around, which housed small lizards the same shade as the sand.

Cassiopeia had sustained a mild concussion, but thankfully was conscious enough that the Mandalorian couldn't toss her into a lava pool without a struggle. The kid was still sitting contently in his seat, looking completely unfazed by their bumpy landing. Cassiopeia noticed that he seemed to be recovering well from his treatment from Doctor Pershing.

With a pained grumble, Cassiopeia crawled over to check on him, sighing with relief when he reached out to her with a cheeky giggle. Cassiopeia had no idea how he'd bounced back so quickly, but she was glad he did. 

"Hi, Grogu." She said, flinching as she registered her newest headache. Two in one day.

"Grogu?" The Mandalorian asked incredulously, looking over at her from his seat. His voice, though initially being pleasant, was now just feeding her headache. He seemed just as unbothered as the kid, and Cassiopeia wondered if this was a regular occurrence for him.

"That's his name."

"How do you know that?" 

"He told me," Cassiopeia told the Mandalorian, who stared at her like she was insane, "in a dream."

"He told you in a dream?" 

She supposed that Mandalorians didn't know much about the force. Vague memories of stories about Mandalorians and force-users fighting each other floated around in her head. It'd probably make the Mandalorian even more wary of her if he found out she was force sensitive. She made sure to make a mental note to not use the force around him. She wondered if he knew about Grogu.

Cassiopeia didn't bother responding to his comment. Now she'd had a moment to calm down, she had a lot to think about. Why did Doctor Pershing have a baby strapped down to a metal table? Why did he hire a Mandalorian to bring him in? Where were his parents? She wondered about her father. He could be a little cold sometimes, but he wouldn't have been involved in something like this. She needed to get home to tell him what was going on. He'd probably be worried about her by now, he was always quite overprotective. Cassiopeia felt guilt twist at her gut; she didn't think about that. She hoped he understood.

"Is this where you're dropping me off?" Cassiopeia asked him after a while. It would be a death sentence for her if he did. 

She had no way to contact anyone, and from where they were, it didn't seem like there were any towns anywhere. All Cassiopeia could see through the window was a stretch of crimson that wrapped over the horizon.

"I'm not a murderer like you. I'll drop you off at the next space station."

"Excuse me? A murderer? We have never met before now, am I right?"

"Imps are all the same."

"What in the world is an imp?"

The Mandalorian stared at her again. He seemed to enjoy staring, she noticed. It unnerved her that he could look into her eyes and she couldn't tell anything about his expression. His body language was all Cassiopeia had to go off, and she wasn't very confident with her understanding of it. He was a Mandalorian, for God's sake, he wasn't the easiest to read.

"Are you serious? You're with the Empire and you don't know what an imp is?"

"I don't get out much," Cassiopeia told him, fumbling nervously under his gaze. 

"I can tell. Why... Where were you going with the kid?" The Mandalorian asked her. He looked down at the kid, who was currently staring at them both with big, curious eyes.

"I heard him crying. Doctor Pershing had him strapped down. It was awful. You brought him in. Was he a bounty?"

The Mandalorian couldn't seem to look at Grogu any more; He stared out of the window and into the horizon, instead.

"Yes."

"You hunted a baby for a bounty?" Cassiopeia asked him, mouth falling open with shock.

"I didn't know he was a kid when I took the fob. He's fifty. I... I went back for him."

"Wow, what a good Samaritan you are." 

"Your people were the ones putting a bounty out on a child." He spat.

"I don't know who put that bounty out, but it sure as hell wasn't one of my people."

He didn't respond after that. 

After a while, the Mandalorian scooped up the child and made his way outside, presumably to survey the damage his ship had sustained. Cassiopeia was left alone with her thoughts.

She had really lucked out this time. What was she supposed to do? Her father would be furious when he found out she was missing. She didn't want anyone at the base to get in trouble, other than Doctor Pershing, of course. With a sigh, she realized she'd need to contact her father from the ship, which meant more communication with the Mandalorian. 

He'd called her a murderer. What had he meant? They didn't know each other, and Cassiopeia had never killed anyone in her life. The idea of doing such a thing made her sick to her stomach. But he was a bounty hunter. He'd probably killed hundreds of people, so why did he think so poorly of her? He had quite literally kidnapped a baby from its home and handed it over to be experimented on, but he had the moral high ground? 

It was going to be a long night. 

***

"She's gone missing? And the child?" Moff Gideon's voice echoed through the room. Bottomless eyes stared down at the stormtrooper who was reporting to him.

"They were both seen with a Mandalorian, Sir. He took them both onto his ship." His voice shook pathetically.

"The Mandalorian you hired took them? And you let them?"

The stormtrooper shook in his boots. The Moff was a frightening man. The stormtrooper doubted that he'd leave this room alive. His friends had argued relentlessly over who would have to give him the news. It seemed that he was the least valued of them all.

The Moff drew in a breath and his fingers twitched over his blaster.

"Find them. I don't need to tell you what will happen if you don't, do I?"

"No, sir! Thank you." He scampered off as quickly as he could, praising the stars for their mercy.

Gideon turned to look out of his window. He knew he never should have let her out of his sight. The Mandalorian would pay for this. She couldn't find out. If she did, all of those years of hard work would be lost. Gideon's job and life rested on her shoulders. If he didn't have her, he had nothing.

***

Cassiopeia spent hours sitting in that same spot on the floor, worrying about her father and how she would get home. 

The Mandalorian had eventually returned, carrying the sleeping baby in his arms. It was a strange display, Cassiopeia thought. All that harsh metal and he still managed to cradle a child with a strange tenderness. It was quite sweet, and Cassiopeia would have commented about it if she wasn't worried about him throttling her. 

His armour was coated in grease and oil, and he looked miserable. Eventually, he plopped himself down in the pilot's chair.

"Nearly done." He said, staring out into the darkness through his inky visor. 

Cassiopeia nodded her head and decided to sit down in a seat. 

The second her rear met the chair Grogu woke up and immediately started fussing and reaching his arms out to her.

"What? What's wrong, womp rat?" The Mandalorian sighed, straining to stop the child from falling off the chair.

Grogu eventually managed to climb down onto the floor, much to his guardian's chagrin, where he swiftly started tugging at Cassiopeia's dressing gown.

"Hi there," Cassiopeia said. She cast a wary glance at the Mandalorian, who was staring at her severely, "Do you want me to pick you up?"

The eager babble she received in response made her smile. She scooped Grogu up in her arms and positioned him comfortably on her lap, where he immediately settled down.

"I don't think it's anything personal," Cassiopeia started, "I think perhaps the metal is a bit cold?"

The Mandalorian didn't respond to her, but he stood up and made his way through the doors.

"Tough crowd, huh?" She said quietly to the baby in her lap. He gurgled in response.

After a few minutes, the Mandalorian returned with two bags. He handed them both to Cassiopeia.

"He's picky. Make sure he eats it."

And with that, the Mandalorian retreated back down the ladder into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! As always, feedback is appreciated! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed if you got to the end :) please leave a kudos or a review if you like! <3 Constructive criticism is appreciated.


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